We Have Lift Off!
by Elle6
Summary: WIKTT Challenge Hermione is the Transfiguration teacher, and Snape is recruited to help her with a project for the 7th years, building a space simulator. Snape is..Snape but when they end up trapped in the capsule, he may have a change of
1. Setting up the game

We Have Lift Off

By Elle, elle_2637@yahoo.com

Response to WKITT challenge by Andrian sethido@yahoo.com

**Must include one of the following:**

"Houston, we have a problem."  
"The cow jumped over the moon."  
"Space, the final frontier."  
"What were you expecting, little green men from mars?" 

Bonus for using all of the planets. 

**Rules**  
They must be trapped for at least 24 hours. However much longer is up to you.  
They cannot use magic.  
Whether this a simulation ride or a real blast off into outer space is up to you.

A/N: Although it wasn't specified, it seemed to me that it was expected that Hermione was in her 7th year. I'm changing this. She is a professor now. Hope that's ok!

**Disclaimer:** Disclaimer: I don't own any of it, besides the plot, which really I suppose I don't own either because I've probably subconsciously stolen from writers who are better than me. No money is being made and...blahblahblah...you know what I'm saying...

Chapter 1

            'The seventh year Transfiguration class will have some changes in it this year.' Professor Dumbledore announced. It was early August and all the professors had returned to the school to plan their curriculums.  'Professor Granger and I have spoken about this, and she agrees that it will be a wonderful project. They will be designing a space capsule. We need a professor to help with this project occasionally. Any volunteers?' Dumbledore looked around quickly, not really expecting anyone to raise their hands. 'Alright then. Let's see. Minerva, you helped out with that dance last year. March, you were awesome with that little incident Hagrid had...and Tracy helped with the re-shelving of the library, and Sarah helped with that little surprise for the second year charms students. Hmmm, John helped with the banquet over break, and Severus...' Here Dumbledore stopped. He had been going around the table, and only two other professors were left. 'Severus, you really haven't done much...ever. I think you will do a fine job with helping Hermione with the project. Alright, on to the giant squid problem...'

~~~~~

            'Severus, we need to discuss the project.' Hermione stopped him as he tried to make a fast exit. 

            'What is it?' The war might have ended, but it didn't mean Snape didn't like to keep to himself and have his privacy. Sure, he wasn't as nasty as he had once been, but he could be occasionally.

            'Will you come to my office after dinner so we can discuss the project? I need to fill you in on how it is going to work.' Hermione had better things to be doing than having to deal with his moodiness, and wanted to get this done as much as he did.

            He simply nodded his head, and walked out the door.

~~~~~

            After dinner Snape made his way to Professor Granger's office. He was dreading having to talk with her about some stupid and boring project. He rapped on her door, and then walked right in. She looked up, surprised, but quickly covered her surprise with her usual business look.

            'Severus, I'm glad you came. Do you remember the year that Justin Fletch Finchley went to space camp in the States over the summer holiday?' Hermione said as she conscientiously adjusted her robes and hair while she spoke.

            'Yes. That was the year Potter left the school. How could I forget?' Snape sneered at her.

            Hermione had simply expected a 'yes' or a 'no.' 'Well...Doumbledore has been looking into the whole concept ever since and this is the year he finally has all of the plans ready. We will be transfiguring magical items into muggle items, and complex muggle items at that. This will be for the seventh years only, and it will be used instead of the normal lessons on transfiguring magical items into non-magical items.'

            Snape simply stared at her, not fully understanding where he came into this whole grand scheme. 

            'They will be constructing a space capsule, just a simulator, and they will be not only learning about transfiguring the objects, but any that are taking muggle studies will be staying an extra half hour after their lesson to learn about space, the final frontier as Minerva seems to enjoy calling it, and space travel the muggle way.'

            Snape still really didn't get where he fit in, and was beginning to think he might just walk out of the room and go tell Doumbledore that he wasn't needed and he had better things to be doing than babysitting brats, which was all it seemed he could possible do.

            Hermione paused for a moment after explaining most of the project, expecting him to have a question. He didn't seem to, and she faltered, not knowing what to explain next.

            'Really all we need you to do is to help with the lessons. We will split the class in half, and each group will be doing something different. I will be making the lesson plans, so all you need to do is come up here, and follow them.' Inside she added _'Although I'm sure you'll have to add a little sarcasm and overall snarky-ness to your lessons.'_

            Snape still didn't say anything, although he realized it was fruitless now to try to argue that he wasn't needed. Hermione continued after a pause. 'I suppose that's really all you need to know about the project right now, unless you have some questions. I'll send down a more detailed plan of how the lessons will proceed within a few days.'

            'Very well.' Snape finally spoke. 'When will we be starting this project?'

            'Oh! The first day of school of course! It's such a large project that I foresee it taking up the whole year.'

            Snapes scowl became even deeper at this. 'The whole year? I don't think I can possibly-'

            'Oh, the Headmaster already told me that you would be upset about that part of the project, but he says that you need to continue with it because you've never helped out before. I must say I quite agree with him...' Hermione was cut off here by Snape.

            'I expect that overview of the project within the week. Good day.' He stood, and quickly exited the room.

~~~~~

            The first day of school came much sooner than Snape expected. He had received a detailed plan of the project the day after his meeting with Prof. Granger, but it still lay on his desk, and had never been opened. Snape sighed as he stared at it. He was due in the Transfiguration classroom in ten minutes. 

            He slowly raised himself out of his chair, and walked out from behind his desk. His office was home to shelve after shelve of creepy looking objects. He kept them in there simply to scare his students when they had a detention.  He stared at a few of them, watching the contents float around while he contemplated the coming forty-five minutes. 

            He forced himself to pull his eyes away from the jars, and slowly walked out of the room and up to Miss. Grangers classroom.

~~~~~

            Hermione was watching the clock. He was late. Her class had all arrived, and was now looking up at her silently. They had been first years when she had graduated, so they knew of her talent. This was only her second year teaching. After Hogwarts she had gone to Cambridge University. She had graduated top of her class, and two years early. 

            And that brought her to this moment. Waiting for Snape to decide he was ready to help her. As each second passed she became more and more irritated. She had told the students to write down the notes on the board, but that would only take them another minute or so. Hermione decided if Snape wasn't in the room before they were all finished taking the notes, she would publicly humiliate him. 

            Lucky for him, he walked in the room only a few moments later. 'Professor Snape. Thank you for gracing us with your presence.' Hermione said as he slowly walked to the front of the room where she was standing.

            'Of course. It is my pleasure.' Snape responded, his voice dripping with sarcasm, but in a quiet tone so that none but its target heard.

            'Please finish writing your notes quickly.' Hermione directed this to the whole class. When they finished she explained the basic outline of the project to them. They seemed to understand, so she began to show them the basic technique for changing a non-magical item into a magical one. 

            Brandon Ladinos accidentally blew up the pen he was changing into a sugar quill. Professor Snape, who had been patrolling the classroom, unfortunately for Brandon was covered in soot from the explosion. 

            'Detention, seven pm, Mr. Ladinos, do not be late.' Snape hissed at the boy. 'And twenty points from Hufflepuff.'

            'Professor Snape, I believe you have forgotten that this is my class, and the only one who may give out detentions or take away points is I.' Hermione quickly pointed out to Snape. 'Brandon, come over here and get cleaned up.' Hermione said as she pointed to a washing basin.

            Snape was infuriated. _I will get revenge with that impertinent little witch! Hermione will pay._ He thought to himself, and slowly began to formulate a plan. He didn't seem to notice that for the first time he had referred to her not as Professor Granger, or Miss. Granger, but as Hermione.

            The class ended, and Snape tried to follow the students out the door. 'Professor Snape!' Hermione quickly called before he could completely disappear. 'We need to discuss a few things.'

            He slowly walked into the room, his scowl even deeper than normal.

            'I trust you have read through the outline of this year's course.' Hermione said as he sat down in the chair in front of her desk.

            'You shouldn't trust anything.' He said softly.

            'Really? What do you mean, Professor?' Hermione knew perfectly well that he hadn't read the packet, but wanted to hear him admit it.

            'I have not perused the outline. It did not seem necessary.' 

            'Ah. I see. So the fact that when you passed by Mr. Ladinos and were not able to stop him from incorrectly speaking the charm means that you have no need to read over the basic outline of the work we will be doing in class?' Hermione glared right back at him. _If he__ doesn't like hearing this, too bad for him. _

            'I perceived Mr. Ladino's mistake, but chose to let him go through with it to teach the boy a lesson.' Snape quickly responded.

            _Right... Hermione thought, and had a hard time not rolling her eyes right in front of Snape. 'I will only ask you one more time. If you choose not to, that will be your problem, and no points will be deducted, or detentions given to students who incorrectly perform a charm in this class ever again. Professor Snape, please read the packet.' Hermione saw something twitch in his face, and his expression changed very slightly, although she couldn't read his expression._

            'I will consider your request again. I hope this conversation is over, as I am leaving. Good day to you.' He stood quickly and walked out of the room, nearly slamming the door behind him.

            Hermione leaned back in her chair. _He'll drive me insane. I can't put up with all this stress for long._ She closed her eyes, and let herself forget about Severus Snape and the Space project for just a few precious moments, enjoying every single one.

~~~~~

A/N: There should only be a few more chapters of this. I don't intend to start another long story, and end up getting writers block! I hope this is good thus far, and the next chapter shouldn't be far behind. Hope you enjoyed it!


	2. The game begins!

Chapter 2

By Elle, elle_2637@yahoo.com

Response to WKITT challenge by Andrian sethido@yahoo.com

See first chapter for more information about the challenge. 

**Disclaimer:** Disclaimer: I don't own any of it, besides the plot, which really I suppose I don't own either because I've probably subconsciously stolen from writers who are better than me. No money is being made and...blahblahblah...you know what I'm saying...

            The next few weeks went by fairly fast for both Hermione and her 'assistant,' as she had begun to refer to him as. He didn't like it, but kept it to himself. He had his revenge planned. 

            'Today we will be going into some of the basic muggle aspects of space exploration, and simply space in general.' Hermione addressed her class. 'The assistant' was off sulking in a corner while he, as slowly as was humanly possible, got the books they would be reading into more orderly piles. 

            'Absurd title...' he mumbled under his breath as Hermione explained that the students who were taking muggle studies would need to stay after. 'The Cow Jumped Over the Moon....Hmpf!' He mumbled some more. 

            'Excuse me, Professor Snape?' Hermione called from across the room. 'Is something the matter?' She had a slightly evil looking glint in her eye, but Snape couldn't quite read her expression because of how far away she was.

            'I was simply commenting on the absurdity of the title of these books.' He replied. 'It's absolutely impossible for a cow to jump over the moon.' He looked very smug.

            'It is obvious that my assistant has not taken muggle studies, or simply does not remember that muggle children have no perception of what is and is not possible, and therefore many books are written with that in mind. This specific book...' She continued on addressing the class with her back once more turned from Prof. Snape.

            He glared at her anyway.

~~~~~

            Soon a large heap of assorted mechanical items were piling up in the storage closet. Hermione was giving another one of her lectures, which she even took the time in naming. The current one was 'Space, the Final Frontier.' Prof. Snape had retreated into the storage closet to 'check the supplies.' 

            Her voice could still be heard through the door, but it was not so loud, and invasive as it was when he was in the same room as she, and if he pretended...really really hard...He almost could imagine that she wasn't giving a lecture on how muggles believed the only thing left to explore was no longer on this planet. 

            She had given many lectures along the same lines in the past two months. 'Space and the muggle,' and 'Space and the Wizard,' were, of course, among them. Along with 'You and Space,' 'Just how big is infinite?' and the list continued on...

            Snape had sat through the first ones, but after realizing that he really didn't care (big surprise) he began to busy himself with other, 'more important' things whenever she would start her lectures. _At least she is a good lecturer._ He had to admit to himself. _She keeps the children's attention, and her topics are interesting...if one is really involved with learning everything one can about space._

            As she ended her lecture and the period was about to end, he exited the closet, and snuck back down to his dungeons.

~~~~~

            Hermione looked around her classroom. She had finished her lecture, and all the children had left. _Now where in hell is Snape!!_ She thought to herself.

            'Damn him!' she cursed under her breath. 

            She had needed to ask him to spend an extra few minutes of his precious time to assemble part of the simulator. It fast approaching Christmas break and Hermione had wanted to have at least the outer shell assembled. 

            _I'll just have to approach him about it after dinner. She heaved a sigh at how stubborn the old man could be. __Actually, he isn't that old. Maybe late forties... _

            She shook her head quickly and cleared her mind of all thoughts concerning Snape. _No, Severus. She mentally corrected herself. They had had a heated conversation a week or so back where she had started, nearly, screaming at him. She had accidentally called him simply Snape, and then things got even more heated. _

            He said she didn't see him as a person, but as a thing. She argued back that he didn't let her see the person that he was so it was his own fault. It ended with Snape stalking out of the room after demanding that she call him Severus, and telling her in not uncertain terms what would happen if he ever heard her call him 'Snape.'

            She was trying to avoid another explosion like that from Severus, so she had followed his simple rule, and they had hardly talked since. 

            But she needed to talk to him now!

            She walked quickly back to her quarters and got ready for dinner, mentally cursing Severus Snape the whole time.

~~~~~

            Dinner was like it always was. Hermione sat next to McGonnagal and Flitwick, and Snape was at the far end trying to avoid conversation with Professor Sprout. Dumbledore was in a good mood, and wanted to know how Hermione's class was going. They talked about the class for a small time, but soon the conversation was directed towards the upcoming holidays.

            Everyone seemed to be in a good mood, and gifts and shopping were discussed with much teasing and fun on all sides. But the meal ended and people began to leave. Hermione saw Severus stand, so she quickly said her goodbyes to Minerva and rushed after him. 

            She caught up with him right before the turn to the staircase that led to the dungeons. 

            'S-Severus!' Hermione called to him as she approached.  

            He turned around and glared at her, but held back any scathing remarks he might have said. 

            'I was wondering if you would be able to spend some extra time over break to assemble the main console for the simulator.' Hermione rushed out in one breath. She didn't know why, but seeing Severus here in his area of the castle made her feel like he was in power.

            'The students can take care of that. I thought that was what this project was for. Unless you are having second thoughts about the student's abilities to follow through with this project.' He looked at her sharply. How dare she assume to ask him for even more help!

            'I was hoping that with the more technical areas of the simulator we would show the students how it worked, but leave the actual assembly to ourselves so as to assure that they work.' She began to wish that she had just forgotten about asking him, and had just done it herself.

            'I will not spend my holiday in such a worthless pursuit.' He began to walk away.

            Hermione just stared at his retreating form. _Fine, you bastard. _She wanted to yell at him. _I'll do it myself! Thanks for all the help!_

~~~~~

            It was snowing outside, but Hermione couldn't even allow herself to have the pleasure of watching the tiny snow flakes fall. She was too busy. The main console was taking much longer than she had planned to put together, and even though it was Christmas Holidays, she had spent all of the three days thus far I her office working on her classes project.

            It was almost done. Hermione could tell that only a few more things needed to be wired and it would be all ready to go. 

            She looked around the room. It was littered with what seemed to be random objects, some that were for the main console and some that were for other parts of the simulator. Before the holidays had started a few of the students had stayed behind after class and helped her assemble the outer shell of the simulator. She could see it through the open door leading to the classroom from her office. 

            She sighed, and stood up, taking a few moments to stretch out her sore limbs. The console could wait, she decided, she needed a break. She walked around the room for a few minutes, and then she decided that she would take a walk outside. She quickly summoned her cloak with a muttered incantation, and was soon out the door.

~~~~~

            Severus watched her leave her office, thanking all the deities known to mankind that she had not seen him, and then he slipped into her office.  He was amazed when he first glanced around the room at how much progress she had made. He hadn't known that the outer frame and coverings for the simulator were finished, although now that he knew his mind was working hard to fit that into his plan to get that stupid Granger girl for all the insults she had hurled at him during their different disputes.

            He quickly recovered from the new information and stole into the classroom to the simulator. He quickly set a few undetectable wards and spells over the simulator, muttering as quietly as he could under his breath. 

            "Hello?" Someone's voice called from Hermione's office. "Is anyone there?"

            Severus recognized the voice and quickly tried to find a place to hide, but seeing none, he assumed an expression of disgust and bent over part of the simulator.

            Hermione strode into the classroom just moments after Severus had managed to appear like his normal self. "Oh. I thought I heard somebody. What can I do for you Professor Snape? Finally decided to help me?"

            "I was simply examining the work the students have done. I was not informed that the simulator had been finished. I simply thought I would come up here and see how far you had progressed with your work, but you were not here..." 

            "I went for a walk outside to help ease my muscles, but realized after a few cold minutes that I could not continue without my gloves, which I seem to have misplaced." Hermione was suspicious for a moment as to why Professor Snape had deigned to come out of his cave and all the way up to her office, but the thought was quickly pushed away by her desire to make him miserable. "You mention the simulator being complete, but Severus I'm sure if you had taken a moment to look closer you would have sent that it is not complete, simply that the outer shell has been assembled." 

            Suddenly Severus detected the evil glint that her eyes had occasionally when she knew she could make a fool out of him. "If you would be so kind as to allow me to show you the work the students and I have accomplished, I believe that you will need to know eventually, and now seems as good a time as any." Hermione waited for him to reply, but his reply was long in coming.

            His face quickly turned very pale, and then he seemed to be fighting some sort of internal battle. Eventually he managed to choke out "I have an important...something...to attend, please excuse me."

            "Oh, no Severus, you are not going any where. While I understand that you truly abhor this project as well as myself, I will not allow you to saunter off, and then come to class after the hols and have no idea what is going on." She grabbed his wrist and pushed him into the capsule. "Have a seat, get comfortable, I'll be right back."

            "Ohshitohshitohshitohshit." Severus mumbled under his breath. Hermione quickly reappeared holding a large bag, and then she was soon sitting next to him. "Couldn't you have picked one of the many other chairs in this capsule to seat yourself? There seem o be six of them, but you had to seat yourself next to me." 

            "Well, I figured that being next to you I would be able to explain things better than if I was two rows back, where I would prefer to be."

            "What is in the bag?" Severus could distinctly smell chocolate of some sort.

            "My lunch. I intend to snack a little as it is late afternoon, but I have not yet eaten." Hermione took out a brownie, and began to munch on it. "Now over there is-"

            "Don't eat it!" Snape grabbed the brownie from her hand, and quickly put it back into the bag.

            "What the hell is wrong with you?" Hermione yelled at him.

            "We don't know how long we'll be stuck in here, so we need to save whatever food we have." 

            "What by Merlin's beard are talking about? We can leave whenever we want. You see, there's this thing, called a door, and you open it. Then you move through the opening and-"

            "Shut up! You're so dense at times. We are stuck in here. I cast a spell so that the moment you were fully in the capsule it would lock itself until someone came along and opened it. The whole thing is now sound proof and magic proof."

            Hermione just stared a Severus for a few minutes, taking in what he had said. "Holy shit. Houston, we have a problem." She muttered under her breath.

            "What?" Severus asked her, not understanding who or what Huston was.

            "Never mind, muggle saying."

~~~~~

A/N: Sorry for the long gap between chapters. I had thins one mostly written, but a few problems kept me from finishing it! How will they get out?? Will they both survive without killing one another?? How long before Snape succumbs and gobbles up the brownie?? Find out in the next installment! **Reviews help feed starving artists (although, actually, I'm on a diet...lol!)**


	3. It continues

**Chapter 3**

By Elle, elle_2637@yahoo.com

Response to WKITT challenge by Andrian sethido@yahoo.com

See first chapter for more information about the challenge. 

**Disclaimer:** Disclaimer: I don't own any of it, besides the plot, which really I suppose I don't own either because I've probably subconsciously stolen from writers who are better than me. No money is being made and...blahblahblah...you know what I'm saying...

~~~~~

            Hermione looked around the capsule for the first time, really giving it a good hard look. There were six seats in three rows of two, and the main console (or where it would have been, if it had been finished and inserted before they had been trapped inside the capsule) would be in front of the two front seats where Hermione and Severus were currently sitting.

            The main console being missing was probably a good thing; Hermione was beginning to think, because if it had been there the front two seats would have been very cramped. Snape was now leaning back in his chair, staring up at the ceiling and mumbling something.

            "Could you **stop?" Hermione hissed at him.**

            "Stop what?" He said, not taking his eyes of the ceiling.

            "Stop with the mumbling. It's driving me insane!" 

            There was a pause. "Was anyone scheduled to visit you today?" He asked quietly. He had stopped mumbling.

            "Not until Christmas which is three days away!" Hermione said with alarm as the fact and all its possible implications slowly dawned on her. "Do you...Do you think we'll be stuck in here until then?"

            "Possible longer. Who knows when someone will think to look in here for you? I had planned to let you stay in here a few hours...possible until you had gone insane...and then open the door. It would have been so perfect!! Why did I have to..." He trailed of into mumbling again.

            "STOP IT!" Hermione screamed. "Just stop with the insane babbling! How long do you think we've been in here?"

            "About an hour...maybe less." He replied.

            "So it's nearly dinner time." Hermione's face suddenly lit up. "Someone will come looking for us when we don't show up for dinner! Oh, thank Merlin!"

            Severus sighed, and slowly looked away from the ceiling and at Hermione. "You don't realize, do you, that when we go missing Dumbledore will think..." He trailed off, but still was looking in Hermione's eyes. "They'll all think...That we've 'hooked up' or however you want to say it."

            Hermione just stared at him in silent horror. "Oh god," She quietly whispered. "Oh, bloody fucking hell."

            "Who was going to visit you?" Severus asked after a few moments of horrified silence.

            "Dumbledore," Hermione said simply.

            "Oh, god," Severus hissed. "Stupid old geezer won't come, will he? He'll want to give us our fucking privacy."

            Hermione could only nod.

~~~~~

            The hours went by slowly. They both knew it must be close to darkness by the time their stomachs started growling, if not later, but they saved the food.

            Severus had taken to staring at the ceiling again, and Hermione had begun to tap her long fingernails on the side of her chair an hour or so ago.

            "Are you hungry, because I'm really hungry?"

            "Don't talk about food," Severus hissed at her.

            "Why not? Seems like a good topic." Hermione replied.

            "Trust me, just don't think about it. Think about anything not related to being stuck in this horrible thing, anything, just not food."

            "Well, let's try to find a topic then. How about...books. Have you read any god books lately?"

            "The last book I read was a cookbook. Let's not talk about books."

            "Traveling?"

            "I went to France for a wine tasting...try again."

            "Quidditch."

            "Last game I went to I got horrible heartburn from the nachos, so no."

            Hermione paused for a few moments. "You're making this difficult."

            "You're driving me insane. I wasn't the one who voted for having a conversation." He replied simply, still staring at the ceiling.

            "Fine. How about...animals?"

            "Made to be eaten."

            "Cats?"

            "Eat mice."

            "Winter," Hermione tried.

            "I love hot cocoa."

            "Summer," She tried again.

            "Having picnics and eating ice cream on a beach is all that comes to mind."

            "Flowers?"

            "Honey."

            "How the hell do flowers make you think of honey?" She yelled at him.

            "Bees go to flowers, take the pollen and then make the pollen into honey which humans then eat." Severus said.

            "I give up then. Although I do recommend that you see a psychologist about your food obsession." Hermione leaned back into her chair and stretched out her legs.

            "I do not normally have an obsession with food, but I can smell your chocolate brownie, and it is truly driving me insane." He took his eyes off the ceiling to look down at Hermione. She didn't even bother to reply to what he had said, but simply pulled the bag of food closer to her with her foot. "Oh, ha ha."

            She simply closed her eyes and shifted her weight until she was comfortable. "Are you asleep?" Severus said after a while.

            "Not yet."

            "Why are you going to sleep already?"

            "It must be near eight o'clock, therefore I figure as I have nothing else to do, I'm going to sleep." She didn't even open her eyes, just simply tugged on her robes around the neck quickly so that the tight collar was loosened.

            "And what am I supposed to do?"

            "Well, I don't really care. I'm sure you could follow my example, but then you've always liked to be the one to lead, haven't you?"

            "Why do you say that?"

            "You hate how I am the one in charge in my classroom," She sighed quietly. "I'd really like to go to sleep now."

            "Fine."

~~~~~

            They both awoke the next morning around the same time. Severus was sprawled across the middle two seats in what looked to be a very uncomfortable position, and Hermione was still in her seat, but with her legs now across where Severus had been sitting the night before.

            Hermione shook her head slowly, trying to clear her mind. Her teeth had morning fuzz on them, and her hair was a mess. "What time do you think it is?" She asked a slowly waking Severus.

            "I've no clue." He slowly brought himself to a sitting position, and then crouched his way back to where he had been sitting that past night. Hermione was trying to smooth her hair down with her hands, but eventually gave up and twisted it into a tangly bun.

            "Do you think we should eat something?" Hermione gestured to the bag once she was done with her hair.

            "Yes, that would be a good idea." Severus picked up the bag and stared to root around in it. "How much do you normally eat in one meal?" He said as he stopped looking in the bag to look quizzically at Hermione.

            "Ummm, about that much," She blushed slightly. 

            "There are three sandwiches, two brownies, two bottles of water, a huge bag of what appears to be trail mix, and three apples." He stated.

            "I know that!" Hermione said and reached into the bag, pulling out an apple. "I think we should just have an apple for right now."

            "With all this food we should hardly be hungry at all if we are only in here for three days!" Severus said, reaching in and grabbing out his own apple.

            "Speak for yourself; I'm absolutely dying of hunger!"

            "Well, no wonder! If you eat this much normally I'm not at all amazed that you haven't yet lost some of your baby fat. I'm sure if you simply ate like a normal person-"

            "Did you just call me fat?" Hermione glared at him, putting the core of her apple back into the bag.

            "No, I simply stated the fact that you still have some baby fat on your body and at twenty-four years old, most people have gotten rid of that." He said calmly, chomping on his apple as he said it.

            "No, I don't think that's what you meant, no matter what you might say. I think you were telling me that you think I'm fat."

            "I can't win this one, can I? Either I tell you that you're fat and you get mad at me, or I'll tell you the truth, which is that you do still have some baby fat on you, which doesn't necessarily make you fat, and you call me a liar. I think that you look very nice just the way you are, and that having some baby fat is just fine." He was only about halfway through his apple.

            "So you like fat women then?"

            "Oh, Merlin's beard! I can't win this! I complimented you, and was totally truthful, but it doesn't matter, does it?" He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes as he finished the last of his apple.

            Hermione just sat back and stared at the ceiling, trying to figure out what he had said. She hadn't meant to be so horrible towards him, and she could see his point that there had been no way for him to win the conversation, but it still made her feel furious with him.

            An hour or so went by. Hermione had shifted in her chair five times. Snape hadn't moved except to throw his core into the bag, which only took a move of his wrist. 

            "I'm bored." Hermione said. It was the first time either of them had spoken.

            "So?" He replied, not even opening his eyes.

            "I was afraid you were asleep." 

            "Why were you afraid that I was asleep? It's not like I kick in my sleep or anything."

            "I didn't want to wake you up." Hermione paused. "The idea of Severus Snape being woken up when he wanted to sleep made me think of a grizzly bear waking up after hibernation."

            "So you think I'm a really fat bear?" He opened his eyes and gave a small smile.

            "No, when bears wake up from hibernation they are actually quite thin." Hermione smiled back.

            "So, you think I'm to thin?"

            "I like thin men." Hermione said.

            Severus paused for just a moment. "Now you know what it's like."

            "Yes, I do." Hermione looked up at the ceiling for a moment, then back to Severus's eyes. "I'd like to say I'm sorry. It was wrong of me to jump on you like that."

            "You jumped on me? How is it that I don't remember?"

            "Ha-ha. You know what I meant."

            "Yes, I do."

~~~~~

A/N: Hey! I'm working on another story right now, called "The Maid and the Potions Master." Rather dark, but with humor and romance mixed in. That means that updates for this might be a little bit slow, although I only anticipate one more chapter. Next chapter: Will Snape revert back to his usual self, or will he try to be nice because it really is his fault they're both in there? Will Hermione be able to survive on the diet of what a normal person eats or will she pig out and eat all their food right in front of Snape? Find out when 'As the Snape turns' continues!!


	4. Let the Tickle fights begin!

**Chapter 4**

By Elle, elle_2637@yahoo.com

Response to WKITT challenge by Andrian sethido@yahoo.com

See first chapter for more information about the challenge. 

**Disclaimer:** Disclaimer: I don't own any of it, besides the plot, which really I suppose I don't own either because I've probably subconsciously stolen from writers who are better than me. No money is being made and...Blahblahblah...you know what I'm saying...

~~~~~

            Hermione sat up quickly; her world slowly fading from the beautiful open meadow of what she now realized must have been a dream to the capsule and a long leg on her stomach.

            Her vision slowly cleared, and she then she remembered where she was and how she had come to be there. The leg was rather heavy, and had obviously just been placed there because Hermione could vaguely remember a tree falling on her in her dream right before she had woken up. She figured that meant that the leg, and therefore its owner was responsible for waking her.

            "Get off me!" she said to Professor Snape, who was sleeping in the seat next to her in another one of his horribly uncomfortable looking positions. He didn't even move a finger or twitch his eyes.

            "Get your bloody leg off me!" Hermione tried again. His leg did move, although instead of being on her stomach it was now pressing her breasts upwards. "You pervert! Wake up!" She picked one of her legs up and kicked him hard. 

            This time he woke up. "What the hell?" His leg slowly brought itself back towards its owner and Hermione was able to concentrate on glaring at Severus.

            "Your fucking leg was on me!" She yelled at him.

            "Shhhhh...not so loud." Severus slowly came to a sitting position and turned to look at Hermione. "Try again, but not so loud."

            "Your-fucking-leg-was-on-my-breasts-you-fucking-pervert!" Hermione said at the regular decibel level.

            "Oh, is that all." He leaned back in his seat. "I can't be responsible for what my leg does while I'm asleep."

            "You bloody well could have prevented this by simply making sure you were at least one seat behind me when you fell asleep!" Hermione was seething. 

            "Well, it's not like I fucking planned to fall asleep right then. It must have been around noon, and I was thinking about what was being served for lunch! Who knew that thoughts of ham and potatoes could lead to me molesting a fellow teacher in my sleep?" He was getting mad now too. How could she possibly expect him to be able to control his limbs while unconscious?

            "Back to your food obsession now, are we? Or maybe how you think I'm fat?" Hermione said to him. She reached down into the bag at their feet and dug around in it for a moment. Then she stopped and slowly lifted her head to meet his glare. "Where the hell is my brownie? Where the fucking hell is my fucking brownie?" She was screaming now.

            "I got hungry, and like I said before, I could smell that thing, so I ate it." Severus stated simply.

            "You ate my fucking brownie? I'm going to kill you!" Hermione lunged at Severus with her hands outstretched towards his throat.

            "It was just a brownie!" He choked out as she squeezed his esophagus. 

            "It was a special brownie!" Hermione spat as she tightened her grip.

            "Special brownie my arse!" He slowly took as deep a breath as anyone could manage with a crazed woman on top of him who was trying, and succeeding, to choke the last breath out of him, and then he attacked.

            Hermione didn't even know what had hit her. She ended up on the floor holding her stomach and laughing so hard that tears were in her eyes. Snape was on top of her, pinning her to the floor with one hand, and tickling her mercilessly with the other.

            "Ha! And just so you know, not only did I eat the 'special' brownie with all the sprinkles, but I ate the other one as well." Snape was still tickling her, and Hermione was wriggling underneath him, trying desperately to get away from him, laughing harder than before when he found the place on her stomach that only two other people knew made her go all gooey, and the other two people were her parents.

            After a few minutes....ok, more like ten, Hermione's face was turning purple and she was gasping for breath between loud giggles. "I'm going to stop now." Severus said. "But only on one condition."

            Hermione's eyes were pleading with him, but as he had not yet stopped the tickling torture, she couldn't say anything.

            "You cannot attack me any more for anything related to the brownies, nor can you ever complain again about the position in which I chose to sleep." Severus slowly stopped tickling her. "Do you agree to the terms?" He quickly tickled her stomach again.

            "Y-Yes! Just s-s-stop!!" 

            Severus stood up, and then sat down in his seat. Hermione took a few moments of deep breathing, and then attacked him. He let out a rather high pitched scream of laughter and they both went down on the floor. Hermione was winning for a while, but soon Severus was on top again, and had her pinned to the floor tickling with abandon. 

            "S-stop!!" Hermione squealed. 

            "You promised you wouldn't attack me. What happened to that? Why should I ever stop?" He looked down at her with an evil glint in his eye.

            "I d-didn't...attack you....b-because of....t-t-the brownie...b-but b-because...you a-attacked...-m-me!" Hermione burst into giggles that had hardly been repressed.

            "Well, I guess that's fair then. Simple revenge. But that doesn't mean I'm going to stop." She glared up at him. "This is my revenge now!"

            Hermione couldn't stop giggling. Her pitiful glare quickly turned into a twisted looking smile as Severus tickled her stomach relentlessly, but Hermione continued to try to glare at him. 

            "Your face looks all weird. Stop trying to glare at me." 

            "M-make me." Hermione gasped.

            "Is that a challenge?" Severus grinned. "I think I accept." He quickly found the place on her lower abdomen that before had made her giggle uncontrollably. Hermione shrieked, but her face remained stubbornly contorted. 

            Severus quickly tickled the spot again, but Hermione didn't even move. "Damn! Why won't you smile?" 

            "I want to win." Hermione gasped out when he took a quick rest a few moments later.   

            "What the hell do you think you are going to win?"

            "Actually..." Hermione had to pause to gasp some air. "I've been waiting...to do this!" As she said it she quickly used her leg to flip him into the seats next to them and then she scrambled to the back of the capsule.

            It took him a moment to realize what had happened, and why his shoulder hurt so much, but when he did, he sprung into action. He was quickly over the two rows of seats, and looking down at Hermione. "Think that was funny? I've won once, I'll win again."

            "No you won't!" Hermione grinned. "It's my turn to win."

            "Ah ha! You smiled! That means I've won twice!"

            "Whatever." There was a pause, and then they both started laughing. "We sound like little kids!"

            "You sounded like such a...oh, I don't know the right muggle term for it, but like a really stupid girl."

            "A valley girl?"

            "Yes! That's it, a valley girl! You sounded like a valley girl." They were both laughing really hard. Hermione was rolling around on the floor and Severus was hanging over the seat, shaking with laughter.

            After a few minutes of just laughing their heads off, Hermione slowly stopped laughing and began breathing again. "I think we should eat something now." She said.

            "Where did the valley girl go?" Severus asked.

            "I'm too hungry."

~~~~~

            They ate two sandwiches, one each, and then laid back for a nap. 

            "Your arm's on me." Hermione said after a few minuets. 

            "It's comfortable there."

            "Please remove your arm."

            "Or you'll do what? I've already proven that I can tickle you to death."

            "Hmpf."

~~~~~

            "Your arm is on me again!"

            "It's been there for the past hour while I've been trying to sleep."

            "Yes, but you moved it!"

            "I can't help it if my arm moves a little!"

            "I wouldn't notice if you didn't have your arm on me!"

            "At least I haven't taken my shoes off."

            "Do you haven stinky feet?"

            "Yes."

            "Oh, my god! Severus Snape has stinky Feet! Severus Snape has stinky Feet! Severus Snape has stinky Feet!" Hermione began to giggle uncontrollably.

            "Oh, shut up."

~~~~~

            "Your arm is getting heavy."

            "It's not like I'm asking you to bench press my arm or anything."

            "No, but it's making it hard for me to breathe."

            "My arm doesn't weigh enough for it to make it hard for you to breathe."

            "Yes it does. How would you know?"

            "Fine! I'll take my arm away!" 

            "Severus! Not the shoes! Oh, god, put the shoes back on! PLEASE!"

~~~~~

            "The whole place smells now."

            "You shouldn't have provoked me. I hope you've learned now to leave well enough alone?"

            "I'm not one of your students any more!"

            "No, you aren't."

~~~~~

            A/N: Here it is....but it's not over yet!!! I'm so sorry, but I couldn't end it yet, it was too much fun writing it. It's not beta-ed because I don't have one... (Desperately looking, if anyone's interested!!). Now to the (awesome!) reviewers...Stay tuned...Like sands through the hourglass, so are the Snapes of our lives...

PrincessEilonwy: Sorry, but Snape's the one who ends up pigging out! Lol! The whole complimenting each other thing was sorta unintended and only happened because they were already going insane.

dama-de-tinieblas: Thank you very much! I hope this was soon enuf!

Gwendellen Snape: Thank you so much! I'm really happy that you like the story so much!

Joani: I'm not even a soap fan or anything, but somehow I decided that it would be funny to add that little extra bit!

Andrian: Thank you for making the challenge! This is the first time in a while that after the first chapter I still feel all happy and ready to write! It's a fun challenge!

Michelle: Thank you very much! 

Lyle: Sorry! There's still another chapter coming!! I meant to make this shorter...but it's so fun! Trust me; my friend practically had me chained to my chair trying to make me finish it. She'd called me every hour for two days wanting to know if it was finished yet...and when I told her there was another chapter coming...oh, god!! It is definitely a humour fic!


	5. Stinky feet and a takeover

**Chapter 5**

By Elle, elle_2637@yahoo.com

Response to WKITT challenge by Andrian sethido@yahoo.com

See first chapter for more information about the challenge. 

**Disclaimer:** Disclaimer: I don't own any of it, besides the plot, which really I suppose I don't own either because I've probably subconsciously stolen from writers who are better than me. No money is being made and...Blahblahblah...you know what I'm saying...

~~~~~

            They had finished off the sandwiches, Hermione had eaten two, and Severus one.  They had eaten in silence.  It had taken all he had, but Severus had refrained from making any more comments about Hermione's eaten habits. 

            "It still smells in here. How long do you think it will take for it to go away?" Hermione asked.

            "As long as it takes for you to get used to the smell. I'm pretty sure that it's not going to go away for a long time." Severus responded.

            "Why? There's perfectly good ventilation in here.  It should have been gone long ago." 

            "I...umm...I have my shoes off again."

            "Nooooo!!" Hermione jumped back the two rows of seats that had separated them, grabbed his shoes, and then shoved them on his feet, all while having one hand pinching her nose shut.

            "That was impressive." Severus smirked at her.

            "Maybe if you would just keep your shoes on I wouldn't have to use my special talents to save myself from asphyxiation!" Hermione responded.

            "I'm sure you wouldn't have actually died. Anyway, I can't even smell it, so it can't possible be that bad."

            "That's because you are used to it!" Hermione said, exasperatedly. 

            There was a long pause after this. Severus stared at the ceiling. Hermione stared at Severus.  

            "Could you stop staring at me?" Severus said as he slowly turned his head to stare back at Hermione.

            "Why? There's nothing else to look at in here." She paused for a moment. "And I'm bored!"

            "Are you going to make me make you stop again?" Severus said, with an evil glint slowly coming into his eyes.

            "Ummm....yes." Hermione said, still staring at him, but slowly backing away, towards the front of the capsule.

            Severus jumped forward and pinned her down between the seats of the first and second rows.  He began tickling her again, but she wasn't laughing. Hermione continued to look deeply into his eyes. Slowly Severus stopped tickling her, staring into her eyes as well. "What's the matter, Hermione?" 

            "Nothing." She sighed deeply. "Everything." Then she closed the few inches between them and kissed him lightly. When their lips met it was like a whole different type of magic for both of them. Hermione slowly pulled away, but after a few moments of staring at each other again, Severus quickly brought his lips back to hers.  

~~~~~

            "Hello? Hermione?"

            Severus quickly pulled himself off Hermione, who was still asleep beneath him. A voice had woken him up.  

            "Hermione?" The voice called out again.

            Severus quickly shook Hermione, and she slowly woke up.  When her eyes opened and she saw him over her, she smiled. 

            "Hello?" came the voice again.

            "Oh shit!" Hermione said. She quickly sat up and began getting dressed. Severus took her lead an pulled his clothing back on quickly. 

            "Just a moment!" Hermione called out to the voice outside.

            "Hermione? Why are you in there?" The voice asked.

            "We were doing some research for the capsule." Hermione said as she pulled no her shoes and smoothed down her hair. Severus was already dressed and sitting in the front seat of the capsule. He was grinning, but the second he realized it he wiped it from his face and replaced it with his trademark sneer.

            "Oh. Well, can you come out now? I wanted to talk with you."

            "Sure, Ron. Could you open the door for me, it seems to have gotten stuck."

            "Of course." The door slowly opened revealing Ron Weasley.  When he saw Professor Snape with Hermione his mouth dropped open. 

            "Professor Snape and I have been working on this project together, Ron.  We just had some things to fix before the students got back from break."

            "Oh, yes. Of course. I remember you telling me about that project." Ron said.

            "I will see you tomorrow Professor Granger," Severus said as he began to leave the room. "I think we have some things to discuss."

            "Of course, Professor. Thank you for all your help." Hermione said as he left the room. "So, Ron. To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?"

            "Just wanted to wish you a merry Christmas and maybe have a talk with you.  I haven't been able to have a good chat with you in the longest time."

            "Well, let's go to my rooms then, and we can talk all day Ron. That's a wonderful idea." Hermione led the way to her rooms with Ron following behind her, wondering why Snape and Hermione both looked so flushed as they had gotten out of the capsule.

~~~~~

A/N: If you want to full NC-17 version of this go to . I'm so sorry that this took so long to finish, and that it's so short, but real life ended up taking precedence. I hope you all enjoyed it! Thank you all for all your reviews, and for sticking with this story! Happy Holidays!

Also, on a side note, I got a review pointing out some things that are wrong with my story, and I thought I'd quickly defend myself. I miss-spelled Doumbledore, but I also point out that I did not have a beta for those chapters, and I type rather fast and have a few errors. Please excuse any spelling that I did wrong. Secondly that if Hermione graduated 2 years early that would be in her fifth year, which she did not in OotP. At the time that I started this story OotP was not out, so I couldn't have known that. Thirdly that Snape wouldn't think of or speak to Hermione in her first name. I don't really understand what they are trying to say, but in my story he starts to call Hermione by her first name unconsciously because they are becoming closer without knowing it. I hope that clears everything up! Thanks!


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